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Stephanie and Dr. Elana walk you through their version of New Years’ goal setting to help you paint a clearer picture of what 2020 can bring for you and your family. Even if you’re not into goal setting, you’ll enjoy their unique approach that helps you prioritize what matters to you and do LESS. They share their personal intentions for 2020 and tips to help you design your dream 2020.
Interested in trying Vital Farms new pasture-raised squeezable ghee? Look for Vital Farms ghee in a squeeze bottle exclusively at Whole Foods Market in Original and Himalayan Pink Salt and visit vitalfarms.com/ghee for a chance to win a year’s supply of Vital Farms ghee for FREE.
Stephanie Greunke 0:03
Really consider spending at least an hour and reviewing what 2019 looked like. And if you could change maybe three things or really look at altering what wasn’t working for you for 2020, that reflection time, that quiet time that time for yourself, is extremely helpful for you getting clarity on how you’re going to feel your best in the next year.
Welcome back to the Whole Mamas podcast. We’re here to give you tools, resources and evidence based information so you can make the best decisions for yourself and your family. Whether you’re trying to conceive or navigating life with a toddler or a teenager, we’ve got you covered. I’m Stephanie Greunke, Registered Dietitian and Program Director for Whole Mamas Club and the co-creator of Whole Mamas Pregnancy Program where I teach moms how to navigate the endless decisions regarding pregnancy. And my co host is Dr. Elana Roumel pediatric naturopathic doctor and creator of Med School for Moms – an online resource where she teaches moms how to safely be a doctor mom. Today, Elana and I will walk you through our version of New Year’s goal setting to help you paint a clear picture of what 2020 can bring for you and your family. We’ll share some of our personal intentions for 2020 and tips to help you design your dream 2020.
But before we jump into the episode, Elana and I are excited to share a new podcast partner with you – Vital Farms! Vital Farms is a company Elana and I have been purchasing pasture raised butter and eggs from for years and we’re continually blown away by their dedication to quality. Vital Farms products are regularly audited, so with Vital Farms pasture raised is a term you can trust. And this company we’ve learned to love, trust with our family’s health and spend our dollars on has now launched an innovative new product that we want you to know about – squeezable ghee! If you’re not sure what ghee is, it’s butter that’s cooked down to remove the water and milk solids. What’s left is a creamy lactose and casein free, versatile buttery spread. That’s perfect for high heat cooking. It doesn’t burn or chemically alter at high heat, so you won’t set the smoke alarms off or be forced to open your windows to clear the smoke in these cold winter months. Ghee is a great option for a wide variety of diets including Whole30, Keto or low carb, or those who don’t really identify with a certain diet, but are doing the best they can to choose nutrient dense options, like me! And even though my kids don’t consume a lot of dairy, pasture raised butter and ghee is something I give them on a daily basis to make sure they’re getting important fatty acids like butyrate and CLA to boost their immune system, improve ion skin health and reduce inflammation. Ghee contains fat soluble vitamins like A, D, E and K2, and adding healthy fat to their food also helps them absorb these nutrients from the foods they’re eating. And let’s face it, what doesn’t taste better with a touch of rich buttery flavored ghee? Vital Farms has been making pasteurized butter for years and believes that great ghee starts with better butter. And that starts with the cows. Pasture raised cows that are raised to graze on actual pastures, like it should be. Their ghee in a squeeze bottle is something I find myself constantly grabbing for in the kitchen. It sounds silly, but I find myself leaning towards the squeezable bottle since I can use one hand to simply flip it open versus needing two hands to grab a spoon, open a lid and scoop some out. And if you’re like me trying to manage five different things while you’re cooking eggs in the morning or sauteeing meat and vegetables for dinner, convenience is key and a one handed healthy fat option like their squeezable ghee is super helpful! It’s a first ever ghee in a squeeze bottle. Look for Vital Farms ghee and a squeeze bottle exclusively at Whole Foods Market in original and Himalayan pink salt and visit vitalfarms.com/ghee. For a chance to win a year supply of Vital Farms ghee for free.
All right now on to our nourish yourself segment. I’ll go ahead and start with how I’m nourishing myself. And then I love to hear what you’re doing Elana. I am actually in the process of being very present to our current life as we finish up our final weeks as a military family. And this is just, it’s so surreal to me, because we’ve been in the military for 10 years now. And you take for granted little things like we live on a military base, so driving around base and seeing the tanks and seeing just tons of military personnel dressed up and being with other strong military spouses who have had their partners deployed while they’re pregnant or right when they’re having their baby and just that respect of the military service is something that I’m really present to right now. And I’m just soaking in the gratitude of being able to call myself a military spouse and our country – all the military, families, and just so present right now to that,
Elana Roumell 5:05
I can’t even believe that it’s coming to an end for you, Steph. And I’m really happy for you, but I’m also so sad you’re moving just selfishly. I can’t wait to visit you though I’m definitely gonna come out but not during winter haha. But you know what Steph, I mean, I always call military wife, some of the strongest women I’ve ever met. You know, you really put in your time, that’s for sure. And you’ll always have that. I mean, you are one of the strongest women I know. But it is something really special and 10 years is a long time so I can see sometimes, even though I know you’re ready, ending a chapter can still be very challenging. So you know, I’m here for you if you ever need anything, of course, you know that. But I think it’s really special that you’re getting present to that because your 2020 is really going to be very different. And we’re going to talk about our goals because it’ll be your first year without being in the military. You know, it’s a huge difference in your day to day.
Stephanie Greunke 5:54
It is a huge change. It’s another identity change, but I’m really excited and looking forward to it. So what about you? What are you doing today to nourish yourself?
Elana Roumell 6:05
So I actually did something that took a lot of courage. So talking about strong women. I’m going to share this because I did it and I actually did it because I was like, Elana, you have to do this. So I ended up calling my office and I talked to my office manager over at Nourish Medical Center where I see patients and I told them that I wanted a little bit of a longer maternity leave and it’s almost like sad for me to say this because I really thought I would be ready to start seeing patients again starting in February and my heart is like, Elana, I want more time like, I’ll never regret having more time with Raffi and like, I feel so bad because like I want to help my patients Steph, like I love helping my patients and I know they’ve already waited during this time of my maternity leave already. And you know, I started with like a three month maternity leave, I thought that would be enough for me, I mean, we’re only in December, we’re not even in February yet, but you know, patients book and so the more booked they are, the harder it is for me to postpone them. And I just Stephanie, it feels so good for me to just give myself some more time. And I know my patients will understand this, I just, I think the worst thing would be is to try to see them and resent it because it’s taking me away from my baby. And I just know how hard it is for us working moms to find a fine balance between when do we go back? When do we not go back and kind of feel like with my first four or five weeks of nursing challenges, I feel like I haven’t gotten a maternity leave like I’ve been so inundated with like triple feeding, like around the clock. And it’s like, I’m just finally now at the end of that tunnel, and I just like need more time. And so that was really nourishing me like, I really feel like I have this huge weight lifted off my chest. For me to already be anxious about it is already taking me away from Raffi that I just made the decision that I’m just going to postpone it another month or so. And I feel so good about that. And if my patients are listening, I’m so sorry. And thank you for the support. And thank you for understanding. And it truly is nourishing me right now. And I’m only going to be that much better of a doctor when I go back. So I wanted to share that during my nourish yourself segment today feels really good.
I’m proud of you. I know that’s definitely not an easy decision. And maternity leave is such a tricky thing. Because you just don’t know like, you can say, this is what I want for my maternity leave. But until you’re actually present to your baby and experiencing the postpartum, you have no idea what that could look like for you.
That’s why it’s really hard to plan it. Like I always encourage my patients to plan probably more than they think that they need because they can always go back early. I didn’t even take that advice and I’m kicking myself in the butt for not doing that. Like I almost felt like how can I take off that long and like making myself wrong and like no, this is what’s most important and it’s so much easier when the baby’s here and just know what your priorities are. But you know, just to remind myself, even these podcasts like these take time, you know, I do a lot more than just patient care between Med School for Moms and, you know, doing these podcasts and, you know, even just keeping up with my life, I mean, I’m busy and so and people know that. It’s just that whatever I can do, it’s like, I don’t want to postpone my podcast. I love doing these you know, and I don’t want to not keep on working on Mexico for moms. Like, there’s so many things, so many hats that I wear, I just, I need to back off on something. And so I feel really good about it. And so thanks for your support. I know other moms are supporting me too.
Stephanie Greunke 9:30
Yeah. And I just I appreciate you as somebody that you know, people look up to you saying, This is what I need, and I’m not making myself wrong for it. And I think sometimes we think that Oh, it’s a bad thing to ask for more time, but like we’re both here saying like, take the time if you can. Absolutely enjoy it. Now we’re going to talk about goal setting on this episode, and I know we have a lot to say we are both nerds about creating our year and creating intentions and designing what we want our life to look like and this is a lot different for us now than it did in previous previous years with us having kids and new careers and different life circumstances. But before we begin I want to hear what’s on your mind about being in the last weeks of December?
Elana Roumell 10:17
Well, what’s really on my mind is having a baby right? Yeah, I’m still here but like how am I now going to incorporate being a working mother with now two kids. I mean, that’s really present for me. Very often Anthony and I we get together in November, and we go over our year plan for the year and now November we had a child so clearly, my brain was like, not even in to goal setting at that time. Now, though, I’m in December. I’m like, I’m really trying to start thinking about it. And part of me thinking about it was actually starting to get me anxious about going back to work, which is what kind of got me to be like, Elana, what do you want for this year? You know, what’s like your big thing and I was like, I want to slow down. That was my big thing now that I’m approaching, you know, this new year. I was like, I want to slow down, like, what does that look like for me? So for me as I’m approaching 2020 I’m kind of thinking like gosh, 2019 I did so much. Now I want to slow down. That’s kind of just like my initial thoughts. What about you, Steph? What are just your initial feelings as we approach 2020
I have so much joy and excitement as we approach 2020. I think it’s just going to be a very different year for us, but I’m really looking forward to more stability with our life and my husband just took a job outside of the military. So that was a huge first step. You know, he’s gonna have his first civilian job as we call it in the military, and moving back home and having family around us just feels so nourishing to me, and I’ve been doing a ton of personal work and we’ve been doing a lot of couples therapy, and I just feel like I’ve already started to walk into a new version of myself and one that feels like the me that I haven’t seen in a really long time, but like an upgraded version, and I’m just very, very excited about 2020.
Steph, I’m so excited for this big smile. You know, it’s like, I think it’s because I just I know you so well. And I know your potential and I know how powerful you are. And it’s so funny because I think we’re at such different times right now, you’ve already had your two kids, like, in the time where you’re like building your career building your postpartum program, like you are like, on fire. I mean, I see how hard you’re working. And I’m like in this space of just like, all right, I just had my second child. I’m like, I just want to like maintain what’s going on in my life. And I actually think there’s something so beautiful about us doing this episode together, and that is that there’s no right or wrong way to set up your goals for the year. Like, I think your vision, your goals and your aspirations are just going to be so much grander for 2020 whereas for me, I actually really, like I said, I want to slow down, I’m going to be backing off. And those are still just as important and just as beautiful. So I’m so excited Steph, you’re probably going to lead the way more and really like outlining, like, what do you do to set up your goals? You’ve clearly thought so much about this, I can hear it. And I’m like, now busy with my baby – can you like kind of go over a little bit about what you do? And how you even come up with your goals and what this all looks like?
Well, it’s funny you say that because I feel like it may sound like me going into 2020 is me building and creating and doing with that type of mentality. But that’s definitely not what I have in my head. I mean, there’s definitely things that I’m going to be creating and launching in 2020. But my big desire is to do less and to be more present with my family and to be more present with my health and what lights me up and what makes me feel really excited and I know as a byproduct of that, that will show up and how I’m able to do my work and how I’m able to be there for other people. And so I feel like it’s almost the opposite of I’ve been doing and doing and doing and hustling the last couple of years and hustling, being a mom and being a program director and being all these other things. And I really want to loosen up the load from a lot of those categories. So I can give more to the mom and the wife categor
Steph, then we can both slow down in 2020! I didn’t expect that for some reason, maybe because who I know you to be is someone who really pushes hard. And what you’re saying now is like you’re really up to recreating that for yourself. And I think that’s awesome, Steph. I think this is so great. And it’s going to be so interesting, because I know us so well I bet we’re both gonna, like still create so much even though we slow down because we’re going to just see that we have so much more access to that by slowing down and really nourishing ourselves.
Stephanie Greunke 14:59
Well, I think you and I both, I mean, we’ve had conversations about this where, like, we don’t like who we are when we are pushing ourselves and doing and not being as much. And so it’s been something where I’ve had to find it out the hard way that that way of being doesn’t work for me. And I need to really slow down and focus on a couple of key priorities. And so when you talked about how do you go through that process of figuring out what your 2020 is going to look like, I think the end of this year is a great time to look at what’s working for you, and what’s not working for you in your life. And getting very objective and kind of looking at all the different categories that make up your life. What’s working for your health right now. What’s working for your family right now as for what’s working work for your career right now, what’s working for your hobbies, kind of going through that list and being very objective about it, even if it’s hard, even if you don’t want to confront some of those things, because the only way that you can really create your 2020 is by figuring out who you want to be and knowing yourself so deeply and intensely. So as we talked about, for Elana and I, we really value our family and we really value our health. And those things take top priority for us over work, over any extra little thing that can pop up. Now, Elana, she said many times her meal prep Mondays are really important to her and maybe she doesn’t do Mondays anymore but like she still makes meal prep happens because it is so important. Do you do meal prep Mondays?
Elana Roumell 16:33
You know this is so awesome. I love you so much. What you said is so wise. It’s so interesting you say that and I will talk about meal prepping, but I think this is why we get along so well. Our values are so clearly family and health. It’s what drives every action, every choice, every decision we make, right? It is, it’s aligned with that. And this is why I’m so committed to my meal. prepping. Nothing gets in the way of that. That’s what keeps us healthy and eating healthy. And it’s interesting because part of my thinking of Okay, now that I have two kids, and now, you know, with working and all this stuff, do I want to do meal prepping? And I’ve been thinking about that, because it’s such a big part of my life. It’s literally part of my schedule. And I was thinking about it – now that I’m not, you know, I’m on maternity leave. So I have very little on my schedule, except for all I do is nurse all day long. So it’s still a big job. I’m finding that cooking a little bit throughout the week is actually really pleasant. And I’m actually really enjoying it – I know I know, it’s crazy. Or like even being able to go to the grocery store and not having to like, think about like, the entire week. It’s not as like draining actually. It’s it’s kind of nice to like, think about what I want to eat that day and go to the grocery store and get something. I know it’s so different than what I was doing. But I was actually starting to think like, what if I just try it on a different way and see. If I don’t like it then I just go back to meal prep Mondays. I mean, that was very efficient for me for my very busy life in 2019. Well in 2018 and 2017, you know, I’ve been doing this for years. But I was like, I don’t need to be so busy, Elana. You know, that’s the whole idea of slowing down. And what if it was that I wasn’t also meal prepping for the entire week because I had no other time to cook during the week. What if I started doing like two mini meal preps or even three mini meal preps where even if I’m cooking, I know a lot of moms when they do cook for that night because they enjoy cooking that night. They just always make sure that they’re cooking leftovers, or maybe even another dish for the next day. You know, so they’re not doing like the full week’s worth of food. And I’m kind of open to trying that on and I want to see what that is. And I was thinking to myself, but then I don’t have my Instagram meal prep Mondays, and I’m like, yeah, but Elana, this is life. This is what I do. I just I share my life. And I’m going to try on something different and we can make it a different day or whatever and see how that goes. And I know all moms are in for the journey because different seasons call for different goals and different seasons calls for different paces of life. And I think there’s something really beautiful about being present to that season and honoring that there is a season and that it’s not forever. And I can always return to it if I’m missing it or you just kind of have to assess Is it working? Is it not working for you, just like you said, Steph. And I really love that about how you’re going into 2020. I’m going to really try that on.
Stephanie Greunke 19:24
Yeah. And then you know, if you have a partner doing it as a couple, I think it’s really important. So you can both get on the same page and really identify what’s important to that other person and then you can really build a life from there. And so one thing that you and I both strongly believe in is a power of vision boards. And if you’re listening and you haven’t heard about vision boards, you’re taking a large piece of poster board. You could do physical paper, some people will do it on your computer, and then you glue you you go through your magazines or you go on the computer and print out pictures or words that resonate with you and that you feel like you want to explore and you want to live into for the following year. So for example, if you want to get pregnant in 2020, you might put a picture of a pregnant belly on your vision board. Or if you want to start working out more, or eating healthier, you might put a picture of fruits and vegetables or somebody at the gym. Or if you want to work on your relationship, you might post a picture of a couple having a romantic day out or being playful. And Elana, I was introduced to the idea of vision boards years ago when I was living with you and Dr. Noel when my husband was deployed, and I have created one every year since and it’s really cool. I know you and I both will look at look back on them at the end of that year. And it’s crazy how many things that we’ve actually manifested and how many things we’ve made come true, because we put that intention out there. So we can’t recommend these enough. And we hope that if you take one thing away from this episode, it’s to take time to create a vision board for your 2020
Elana Roumell 21:01
I love the brought this up. Steph. I’m so glad and it is so neat that we have all these vision boards also just look back on. I keep all mine. Do you keep yours?
Stephanie Greunke 21:10
Yeah, I my husband does not like clutter. So he makes me take a picture of it after I create it. And then I keep the picture on my phone, but he won’t let me keep the actual physical thing.
Elana Roumell 21:21
Oh my God, he’s awesome. I love him. I hate clutter too. That’s great. I think Brian and I have a lot of similarities. But I will say, if you don’t mind since I’ve been doing vision boards for so many years. I want to give a couple tips. Yeah, I found in the beginning when I was doing vision boards. I was kind of basing my goals off of like what I found in magazines. And it was almost like if something inspired me as I was going through the pages. I would take that and be like oh yeah, I want to travel there! Or like, Oh yeah, I want to – whatever I saw in the magazine. And then I was like No, no, no, like, that’s not how I want it to go. Like as I kind of developed my vision boards year after year, what was important for me was that I was very clear on my goals prior to even looking at magazines. And then I oftentimes found that magazines are kind of limiting me, I still think like a business has to come out with like creating vision board magazine, they would make so much money because I would go to like Barnes and Noble or whatever and try to collect magazines, I’m like, these suck, you know, or like, this is only half of my visions. So if I can’t find everything in a magazine, and because I’m so clear on the goals, then I’ll go on the computer to try to just, Google something and then find it or whatever, and then print it out and then paste it on there. But I’ve been finding because I’m so now clear with my goals that sometimes I can’t find that perfect vision of that perfect, whatever. So sometimes I’ll just type it out. And I’m like, my goal is whatever X number of days and X number of money or whatever it is, and I’m like really very clear on my vision board with that. So I guess just that little tip is like for people just starting or even people doing this for many years. I just I hate for you to create a vision board just based on what you find in the magazines because it’s limiting you and I wouldn’t let the magazines guide your goals, I would still sit and be present to what are your goals? And then create the vision board based on that.
Stephanie Greunke 23:13
Yeah, no, I completely agree. Because also it’s kind of like, you know, scrolling social media is you get all these ideas in your head that are not your own. So being able to sit with yourself and really think like, Okay, what matters to me, not what everybody else is showing what matters to them, what matters to you in that moment, and then creating from there,
Elana Roumell 23:31
Exactly. The other thing that I hear a lot of people doing, and we don’t do this, but I really like how people do it is some couples do one on their own, and then they’ll do a shared one as a couple. And I think that’s pretty cool because there’s different visions. You may have very specific visions for your career, Steph, or for your personal life. And then Brian may have his own but then there’s like shared ones as a couple you may want. So I think that that’s kind of neat that some people have three. Have one for each spouse and then one for the couple. So I think that’s kind of neat too. But anyway, I know you’ve taken a lot of time to really think about your goals, Steph. So I would like to hear what are you putting on your vision board? Because I don’t think I’ve gotten that far yet, but I’m curious what you’ve done for this year already.
Stephanie Greunke 24:17
Yeah, I have eight themes that I’m really living into for 2020
Elana Roumell 24:22
Oh my god, you’ve totally thought about this so much. I love you. This is great. Can you tell us each theme?
Stephanie Greunke 24:29
Okay, so the first one being minimalism or simple living or stoicism. So, basing my life around the fact that things aren’t going to make me happy – like that new pair of shoes or that brand new kitchen appliance isn’t what brings joy. It’s really the people and myself that can bring joy. And I had this theme last year of like very simple living and you know, I think moms we can relate to this if we have clutter all over our kitchen or if we just having an environment that feels chaotic, that does not feel good to us. So minimalism is definitely going to be there again. I think for me calendar and scheduling and organizing is something I really want to nerd out on this year. And I’ve already started to do, because I’m actually at a point in parenting where I feel like I can do this. So when I was a brand new mom, and I mean, you understand because you’re in it right now, like, trying to figure out feeding time and all that it’s tricky when you’re a brand new mom, but as your kids get older, I have a three and a five year old now and they’re in school doing their thing. I’m at work doing my thing. And I can kind of put the pieces together again, with a reminder that it has to be flexible because things do come up. But I really like planning my day a little bit more. My word of the year is enough. So I think a lot of times I don’t think I’m doing enough or I’m not enough as a person, and I’m changing that dialogue in my head. So I did enough at work today. If I accomplish those three things. I am enough. I don’t have to try to please people all the time. Because I’ve realized that when you think it’s not enough, you’re always looking for more and you’re not actually enjoying and being present to what’s there for you. you’re always going to want to do more, you never are going to think it’s enough, you kind of get in this cycle. Community building is really on my mind, because we’re moving to Wisconsin, so I’m going to have a brand new group of people. And so I’ve already started reaching out on Instagram, like, Hey, who’s in Wisconsin, like, be my friend, like, I really want to build that community there. And I’ll have my family in Wisconsin. We’re going to be doing Whole Mamas meetups throughout the country. And we’re going to be doing some more interactive things with the postpartum program that’s coming out. And I think it’s been really hard for me with community being in the military because we’re constantly moving. And I have this dialogue in my head that’s like, Well, why would you invest the time to make friends here because leaving is really hard and leaving those relationships is really hard and like, it just it’s tough emotionally to have to separate yourself from people all the time. So I’ve resisted that in a way subconsciously. But I’m ready to let go of that and to really embrace community and I’m super excited about that. Fitness – So continuing my strength gains and consistency. I’m actually stronger, I can lift more now as a mom of two than I was before I got pregnant. And I think that is really cool. And I think, you know, sometimes it doesn’t have to be a priority for everybody. I’m not saying that but I think sometimes we just say well, I’m a mom now and so like I’m not going to be as strong as before, but you definitely can. You can be stronger mentally and physically as a mom. Water. Water is something that I constantly, I know you’re really good about water but I struggle to get water in every day. And so I want water to be on there as like a symbol for filling up my cup and really investing in me, as well as hydrating more and filling myself with the water that they need and filling my body with the powerful medicine that is water. My husband – so we’ve done that couples therapy that I know you have, and I can’t wait to talk more about your experience. But my husband I are at a level now where I feel like we have just met each other in college again 13 years ago, we are way more playful and flirty. And what we’re really working on now is keeping that spark alive. I think it’s sometimes easy after you go through therapy or if you go through an experience and you reconnect with a friend or a loved one but then if you go back into old ways of living, then you lose a spark. So I’m really committed to having powerful communication with him and playing and flirting again. And then finally my kids – so really having the space to be with them and I feel like this sometimes over the last couple years I can see how I was half handling it. I was not really actually there with them because I was on my phone, texting emails from work or I was mentally just checked out. And that is not who I want to be for them. And I want to be somebody who was actively playing with them. And I know this is something that I’m trying to really be realistic about because there are going to be days where I’m not there. I’m checked out. But more days than not, I really want to be fully in when it comes to parenting them.
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Elana Roumell 30:33
Oh my god, Steph, you have like really thought about this. Can I steal some of yours? Because I think some of them overlap. No, but Steph, I guess I want to point out a couple things. First of all, I love that you have a word of the year. So your word is enough. And I think that’s really great because when we get so busy, like you’re going to start coming to July of 2020. And of course these goals are not going to be as clear as they are right now. You can always go back to that one word because you’re not going to forget the one word. And it can remind you have like all of this work that you’re doing to set you up for this year. And I think that’s really powerful. Sometimes we make things a little bit too over complicated, but then it kind of like dwindles and I think you can always remember enough, right? You can always remember like that, at least the very minimum, I’m enough I’ve got this and then it can like you can remind you of all these other things. So I just I think choosing a word can be very powerful. I think for me my word but it’s kind of two words is just slow down. And maybe what slow down also means is like being present, I find that I can when I do so much like 2019 like I shared it was such a it is such a busy year. We’re recording and we’re still in 2019 but it was such a busy year for me and I loved everything I did. I mean I don’t regret anything. Just building Med School for Moms. I was seeing so many patients are seeing up to 12 patients back to back in a day. It was just too much but I loved it like you know, I was building a I was, you know, I was doing so much, I was so busy and now I’m like, I don’t need to be so busy. You know, I get to just be calm and not so preoccupied. I think that was the big thing for me is when I was so preoccupied, I wasn’t as present within Aviva and I wasn’t so present with Anthony. And so, you know, kind of going back to also family and really making family my priority. Again, because it really is at the end of the day, I only do things because I want to be a better version of myself. And that makes me a better mom and a better wife and such. So getting more present to that I think is so great. So for me, it’s really about slowing down. I also love that you use the metaphor with water, like it’s not just about you hydrating yourself, but it’s also filling yourself first and I just think that that’s really neat. So I love how you’re using that metaphor on your vision board. Let me see what else resonated with me. Oh fitness. So very interesting for me – I have really missed pilates. I’m really starting to miss it. And I realized that I think I’ve kind of somewhat created a story like, I can’t go back, because what am I going to do with the baby? It’s like, I’m either having to go at a time where I’m going to have to pay a nanny to watch him and then also pay for a class and I’m kind of like making myself wrong, like, is it even worth it? And I’m like, No, I am worth it, you know? And if that means that I just have to pay for more care, or if that means that I need to talk to my husband about how do we find the time even if it’s once a week, like I want to do that for myself this year. So that’s kind of exciting for me is to kind of getting back to that type of exercise that I personally really love. So that’s to me, I’m just looking forward to having more time and space for that kind of stuff. So those are some of the things for me that kind of called me from what you what you push it on. I mean, you are much more organized about it. But I appreciate the time for me to also just explore and to share that as well.
Stephanie Greunke 33:59
Yeah, and that’s really that was my point of sharing is because I don’t think everybody I don’t love talking about myself or one but I don’t think everybody needs to do what I do. It’s just it’s sometimes nice to hear what other people are doing because it might spark things like what you said and know what you had to say about fitness. And I just think it’s so interesting. I also did that to myself with going back to the gym even though it’s so important to me. It’s a priority. I was telling myself when my kids were younger, like, oh, but I don’t want to pay for daycare and Oh, I’m so attached. I don’t want to leave or you know, with my anxiety is like, Oh my gosh, if I leave him for one minute, it’s just going to fall apart. But just understanding I think it’s like also one of the things where I can see when you are ready to go back to pilates and you do take that time away. I can just see your face like leaving that class, like, Oh, I’m doing this all the time. You’re gonna realize like how good it feels to be back. So yeah, it’s just really interesting how we don’t let ourselves take that time away for ourselves when we know it’s gonna fill us up.
Elana Roumell 34:48
Yeah, but you know, you did say something very interesting about your calendar and scheduling. When you said, when your kids were much younger, you didn’t have as much flexibility. And now they’re three and five you do. And so I’m kind of living in the world of I’m back to the small kid with I do have a little less flexibility. I mean, you know, my boobs tell me, hey, you got to get home and nurse, right? Like I don’t even have control over it. It’s a physiological response of like, no, you’re on a schedule, you know, you got a nurse or you got to pump or you got to do something. So I’m embracing that I’m really ready for it. I mean, I chose to have a second child. And it does come with some sacrifices. And for me, you know, I love scheduling and organizing my time. But I also have to know it has to come with a lot of buffer time and a lot of cushion. So if I’m going to schedule something like even scheduling this podcast with you, it’s like I had to really communicate with you like all right Steph, well, I could be 30 minutes late because it kind of depends on how long it’s going to take him to feed and you know, all of this stuff and I never had to necessarily do that. I’m so excited for you, you’re like, No, I’m going to be at work between this hour this hour and I’m going to get this done and this done. And that was very much how my last year was. And it was so fulfilling, and it was so productive, and especially for our type A kind of personalities. And I think it’s also great that I can now be in this year of Nope, my priority really is, you know, feeding my child and making sure that, you know, I’m healthy and available for him and his needs, because he’s truly so dependent on me. And I do get to still take care of myself and an hour and a 24 hour a day to go to pilates is like nothing, you know, and it’s amazing that I get to do that and I do have that support and I just need to really tap into it and know that that’s okay. So I am excited about it. And I also don’t feel like I need to wait till January. I mean, we’re in December now I can go tomorrow if I wanted to. Although that’s not true. I still want to wait to heal. You know, the cool thing is though I have the desire and yeah, that’s what we want to talk about is like what lights you up because even just for me to talk about pilates, it’s lighting me up right now, and it’s something that I’m patient about, you know, I’ve been really patient about my postpartum healing. And it’s just cool to get excited about something. And I think we need to just really all get present to what really lights us up. And that’s what goes on our vision board. It’s not that we should do this, or this looks like people expect me to do this. You know, I’m kind of speaking about that, even coming from the place of, I felt like I should go back to seeing patients in February, you know, that’s what I felt like I should be doing and now that I’m like, you know what, I did that because I should do this. But no, what I really want is this, that really takes a lot of pressure off. Those are the things that we need to start putting on our vision boards, you know, those are the things that we need to move, move in those directions and move towards and so I’m really excited to be able to do that more in 2020 is, you know, really get rid of those shoulds and really start only doing the things that really light me up and that are really, really worth my time and what I really want because I’ve got a lot of time spent with this little baby, that there’s only so many other hours in the day to do these other things they shouldn’t be shoulds, they should be things that really draw me and they call me and I get excited about
Stephanie Greunke 38:18
Oh, yeah, absolutely. And I think motherhood is a really good opportunity to learn how to say no, because you have such limited time. And you know, like you know, going back to work for you. It’s like you said, No, I’m gonna hold off because I am very clear that right now I have a sweet little new human in front of me that I want to take care of. And it’s a good opportunity to learn how to flex that no muscle.
Elana Roumell 38:42
Absolutely. I couldn’t agree with you more. I feel like it is how we prioritize my life in so many ways. It started with Aviva. And now it’s just only building with Raffi and I think that’s such a gift in motherhood. I think yes, you can look at it like gosh, I’m so limited with my time or Oh, this kids so dependent on me, I can’t do some of the some of these things, but it just helps you prioritize, it helps you be more efficient. You know, when I work and I know for you too, Steph, we like focus because you’re like, well, I only have an hour. So I better get done a lot in this hour. Because I know when I go back to family, I want to be as present as possible. And, you know, for me, I kind of said that is I want to be present. Like, even when I’m at work, I want to be present when I’m with Aviva, I want to be present when I’m with Raffi I want to be present, when I’m with my husband. And that takes a lot, you know, that takes like a lot of efficiency, then during your workday to be like, Okay, I’m getting everything done. I can close my computer, I don’t have to think about it. So I can be with my family and to be personally just to be transparent. I’m not always like that, you know, there are very oftentimes I’m preoccupied and I just don’t want that, you know, that’s not who I want to be as a mom, I don’t want to be that as a wife. And so for 2020 I’m really challenging myself to set that stuff aside, and, you know, really be present with my family because they are my priority and that’s what matters most to me? And so I’m really excited about that. That also lights me up a lot. That’s a cool challenge – because it is a challenge, because I like to work. But I also really love my family. So I know I’m able to do that. I’m going to really work on that this year.
Stephanie Greunke 40:14
Yeah. And it really I feel like it is one of those things where it is a practice. It’s like okay, seeing how much I can do. Can I work eight hours this week? Okay, that felt good. Can I do 10 hours that week? Oh, that’s feeling like it’s a little bit too much. Right? So it’s this kind of like, seesaw of figuring it out. And it’s not going to land right away. And it’s going to change all the time. And so it’s just being open to the constant changes that happen with motherhood. Now, I wanted to talk about the difference between what we’re saying here and goals because I feel like they’re almost are two different camps, like looking at what your intentions are. And like building a vision is a little bit different than having a specific goal, right? We’re thinking about I want to lose 10 pounds this year, or I want to go to the gym three days a week like those are very specific and measurable. And I know some people are also really quick to shame goal setting around this time of year saying things like, well, why would you wait till January 1, you can start anytime or joking about how only 10% of people actually stick to their New Year’s goals. But I think you and I are on the same page that it’s not having goals that are really the problem. It’s about how you approach goals and having a realistic perspective, while prioritizing what matters to you. And for moms, I think just that realistic piece is so much more important because if you have a goal, it probably will take longer to complete. I know for you and I with our programs like we thought we would have it done a lot faster than what it actually is turning out to be but it’s because we have all these other things that we’re juggling right and it probably will be harder to be consistent because even if you plan that pilateas class for Tuesday afternoon baby may be having a really fussy day or you need to take care of something around the house. It’s not just about you anymore. So when it comes to goal setting, I think it’s really important that we understand that fluctuations with motherhood and scheduling. And always just keep taking steps towards what matters to us. And when it comes to the word goals, I think having a goal is something that provides you with a destination a goal is something that gives you direction of where you want to be. And then it encourages you to think critically about how to get there. So when I think about goal setting with my clients, we always look at the bigger picture first. We always look at that vision first. So how do they want to feel like what is their goal? Why is this meaningful to them? What is the bigger picture and from there, once we know that then we can create those small actionable steps to get them towards their goal to whatever it is. And you know, with with goals, I think the other thing that I want to talk About is, there’s a lot of, there’s a lot of people that talk about the why like, okay, we just you know, when you think about 2020, or you’re thinking about doing this goal, think about your why and focus on that. And I think that’s so valuable, but then I also feel like that’s almost the 1.0 version, right? It’s like, okay, let’s talk about why you want to do this goal or why this matters to you. But the what is equally if not more important than the why, because if you want to eat healthy fruits and vegetables, or you want to do a Whole30 or you want to do this, that why is strong, and it will take people really far, but the people that aren’t able to get to the end it’s probably because they’re missing the what – what are you going to do to make sure that you finish the Whole30? What are you going to do when you’re out to the restaurant and you really want that bucket of bread? What are you going to do when you fall off, I don’t want to say fall off the wagon, but when you stop doing the thing that’s important to you – are you going to get back on track with the plan. So I think when you are working with somebody, if you have seen that phrase like focus on your why – yes do that, and also really take the time to invest in the what.
Elana Roumell 44:10
I’ve never heard that type of discussion before and I think it’s brilliant. I don’t know where you learned it, or if you came up with it or whatever, I love it. And I totally agree. And I am always loving the theory that when you want something really bad, it’s going to take some sacrifice and some struggle, and it’s just if you want it bad enough, you’re willing to get through that sacrifice and that struggle and a blogger that I love, his name’s Mark Manson, he talks a lot about this and I just I think he’s awesome and brilliant. And this is kind of the same nature is if you don’t set yourself up for when it gets hard and get clear because the what kind of answers those questions. So like, okay, when you veer off, what are you going to do and when it gets hard, what is your plan and it’s almost like just set yourself up because it’s real life like this is just what happens. So what are you going to do to get you to your goal and perhaps that’s why we’re both so good at manifesting our goals because we are okay with that struggle and that sacrifice and we do persevere. I think oftentimes, when people have a goal, they tend to not necessarily always accomplish it simply because when it gets tough or they’re just like they’re not as interested in it, maybe they’re Why isn’t strong enough, which can definitely be it. Or maybe they really haven’t really thought about the what so that there you don’t know necessarily how to navigate when it does truly get hard. So I think that’s really brilliant is, you know, when you make your goal already, just think about the what’s. You know, set yourself up for it – I think that is really a brilliant way. So thanks for sharing that. I hope the listeners also got a lot out of that.
Yeah, there is a tool in psychology called the if then plan. Have you heard of that before?
Yes, actually, I like that. I haven’t heard that a long time. But yeah.
Stephanie Greunke 45:56
This is kind of similar to that. So let’s say you are like oh I really want to have less sugar around the holidays or I really want to do a Whole30 in January you kind of have this if then plan. So if I want to reduce sugar intake around the holidays and I go to the holiday party that is going to have a whole table full of desserts, what am I going to do? So if there is that table, then I’m going to choose one that I think is the most delicious, the most worth it and be good with that and enjoy it fully. Or if I’m doing the January Whole30 and my husband brings home trayful of donuts on Saturday morning, then I’m going to enjoy my eggs and appreciate that he brought home the donuts and drink extra water and be good with it. You know so you kind of have that plan because life will throw all sorts of curves at you. Especially I find that first week it’s like the universe almost test you, like Do you really want this? How bad do you really want this? And the people that are successful, the thing that separates the people that are successful from people that are not successful is the people that are successful are able to bounce back from that set back and realize that they didn’t mess things up, that they can do next bite nourishing is the thing that I always say. And they can continue one event is not going to completely disrupt all the progress that you’ve made and all the progress that you can make.
Elana Roumell 47:27
I love it. I think that is so great. And it’s it’s truly just about living realistically. And setting yourself up to win. So I think that is fantastic. I think that’s great. Steph, is there anything else you want to say to wrap up? You’ve got such great words of wisdom here. I’m hoping I really think the listeners are going to gain so much value from this and I hope that they really just get on their 2020 goals and continue exploring that and also just I want to actually say something before you end up wrapping something up is also give yourself permission to make goals mid-year, like it doesn’t always just have to be so much pressure on January. You know, if you want to revisit your goals in July or August or whatever, that’s okay, too. But you know, I do think it’s a nice practice to just set yourself up with some ideas and some direction, and then maybe go through the if, then, then then also go through your why’s and your what’s. And I just think these are really great tools to set you up for some of your goals. But any other things you want to wrap up with, Steph.
Stephanie Greunke 48:29
I would say that if this isn’t resonating for you, for whatever reason, if you don’t want to create goals for 2020, if you don’t believe in goal setting, or maybe if you don’t want to do a vision board, but you still want to do something, I would just really consider spending at least an hour and reviewing what 2019 looked like. And if you could change maybe three things or really look at altering what wasn’t working for you for 2020 that reflection time, that quiet time, that time for yourself is extremely helpful for you getting clarity on how you’re going to feel your best in the next year. So there are lots of different ways we talked about, you know, three different main ways to go about creating your dream 2020, just pick what feels best for you.
Elana Roumell 49:20
Hmm, I love it. Great way to end, Steph. Thank you.
Stephanie Greunke 49:24
You’re so welcome, this was one of my favorite topics. So thank you for letting me indulge. We hope you enjoyed today’s episode and Elana and I cannot thank you enough for your support and for listening to this podcast and we’d like to ask you a quick favor. If you’ve been enjoying the podcast, we’d love your help sharing the podcast with your community. The two best ways to do that are taking a screenshot of this episode and sharing on social media tagging us @WholeMamasClub or leaving us a quick review on iTunes. This won’t take you more than a few minutes and we read and appreciate every single share and review. It fires us up to create more episodes and resources to support you on your journey. Thank you so much in advance. And please remember that the views and ideas presented on this podcast are for informational purposes only. All information presented on the podcast is not intended to serve as a substitute for the consultations, diagnosis and/or medical treatment of a qualified healthcare provider. Consult your provider before starting any diet supplement regimen or to determine the appropriateness of the information shared on this podcast or if you have any questions regarding your treatment plan. Now go on, have a great day and nourish and nurture yourself and your family.
- What’s on Steph and Dr. Elana’s minds as they wrap up 2019
- Their unique strategy for goal setting
- Why vision boards are so powerful
- Key themes they’re focusing on for 2020
- Why finding your “why” isn’t always enough
- The key characteristic of successful goal setters
This episode's guest
The Whole Mamas podcast is led by Stephanie Greunke, a registered dietitian, and Dr. Elana Roumell, a naturopathic doctor, both trained in functional medicine and passionate about pregnancy, postpartum, and pediatrics. They invite experts on the show, answer burning questions, highlight key points, and make sure you feel empowered to take action. Find Whole Mamas and the Whole Mamas hosts on Instagram @wholemamasclub, @stephgreunke, @drelanaroumell, and at www.wholemamasclub.com.